First Love
by Zaerith Vrinn
Summary: For Shanny branched from "Show Me Myself" Elita One only wanted to pull Optimus close, but only pushed him away, years later she reflects on the mistakes she made. Side mentions of Slash


**Author's note: **This fanfic is dedicated to Shanny; in my fanfiction "Show Me Myself" (A SLASH fic, which had in its note that the would be OOC) I appear to have gotten Elita One "horribly out of character" and this reviewer stopped reading my fic at the point that I began "bashing her". It is true that Elita One is NOT my favorite character (no where near in fact, I AM entitled to my own option right?) but in that fic I was not bashing her, I leave all the bashing to myself and it never makes it on-line, Elita was OOC for a reason (and because it was a pre-war fic) which will be explained in this fic. Shanny if you are reading this, again I'm sorry that you think what you think about "Show Me Myself" but perhaps after you read this you might give it another try? One last thing, since this fic is stemmed from the same stories of my SLASH stories it is written with lines for a song by the same band, look them up, I'm obsessed with them!

**Warnings: **MovieverseElita One and side mentions of SLASH

**Disclaimer: **I mean it I hate Elita One, this fic is being written to clear up some complications on my characterization, if I owned Transformers it wouldn't be necessary

First Love

"_You were my first love_

_The earth moving under me…"_

"Feel For You" Nightwish

Elita One was a little impatient about the waiting. She was preparing to lead the next group of Autobots in a search for the Allspark. Like Optimus Prime had done so many years ago, except now she was leading a group of femmes. She sighed as she looked up at the stars, wondering if Optimus was thinking about her.

_Probably not_. She thought remembering how he had broken up with her when the war began because it was 'too dangerous'. By Primus it was! Elita One was a femme but she was not weak!

Optimus had other things to be thinking of other than her too. Like the Allspark and finding it before Megatron and the Decepticons got to it. Elita shuddered at the thought of what would happen if the Decepticons got it. How many worlds had to end up like Cybertron before this war was over? When Optimus had left in search of the Allspark she had volunteered to go with, he had once again insisted that it was 'too dangerous', but something else was also bothering her about why Optimus had not let her come.

_"Remember what I said earlier? 'You never have time for me'? It's time to change that. Can I see you tonight, like a date, not a meeting of two transformers who happen to work together, but an actual __date__?"_

_Optimus looked away, "Elita…I have something that needs to be done…" he tried to leave._

_"Can we?" she asked him._

_"I have…plans… for tonight." He said rushing away from her._

_"Optimuuuuus!" she called after him._

_He continued on, as if he had not heard her._

Perhaps Optimus didn't let her come because he didn't _want_ her to be with him. She remembered before the war he'd seemed a little distant from her.

She shook her head. No! She wasn't going to think like that! But she did. At the time of the memory had taken place, it seemed as Optimus was trying to avoid her, and that had scared her. Optimus Prime and the relationship he had once shared with her were the best things that had ever happened in her life, she was afraid of losing that, and so she tried, tried_ hard_, to get them back to how they'd once been.

But it seemed that the more she tried to pull him close the more she actually pushed him away. She'd been acting immature when she grabbed his attention away from everyone else and her immaturity was being paid for with losing Optimus like she had always feared. Then again…perhaps even then, when she was trying to save their relationship, she'd already lost him. He was always happy to see her, but never as happy as she was to see him.

In the time before she had gotten a job that allowed her to be close to him, had he fallen in love with someone else? Megatron was always so much kinder to Optimus than anyone else and Optimus was equally kind to Megatron…

_No! _Elita thought to herself shaking the thought out of her head, _No Optimus wasn't that kind of Mech, he loved her and she loved him!_

But what if he had?

"Elita?" came a voice behind her.

She turned around glad to have a distraction from her thoughts, "Yes Chromia?" she responded.

"We're ready to launch." The other femme told her.

"Oh! Right then, let's go!" Elita ordered her team of femmes; they'd be searching for the Allspark now, and defeating any Decepticons that stood in their way.

The times of peace were so long ago…

Elita didn't know how long she and her troops had been searching for the Allspark when they heard the message, from a planet called 'Earth'

_"With the Allspark gone we cannot return life to our planet…"_ the voice in the transmission said. Elita felt for a moment her spark would burst. It was Optimus! But what had he said about the Allspark…?

_"And fate has yielded its reward, a new world to call home…"_ the femmes all sighed; they'd always hoped to bring the Allspark back and recreate their world in a time of peace. That dream was now shattered with Prime's words, but as he had said fate did have a reward for them. _"We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage. And though we are worlds apart, like us there's more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting."_

Elita was silent for a moment, waiting herself, waiting to know if there was anything else in the message. There wasn't, and so with a disappointed sigh she sent the transmission forward so that it might reach more Autobots, maybe back to Cybertron.

She was happy to hear that Optimus was alright, but then that also brought back the thoughts from when she and the femmes had left Cybertron.

What if Optimus had fallen it love with someone else? Fallen for Megatron? The thoughts enraged her and made her despair. How could she have let that happen? Did she ever even have any control over it? The only candidate for Optimus' affections being Megatron did not help. That meant that Megatron had betrayed him!

But Optimus had broken up with her when the war began. Did that mean that Optimus was still in love with him?

_Can I hate Optimus for this? _She thought bitterly. _Hate him for not dealing with the situation of his relationships in a proper way? Can I hate him for put his happiness ahead of mine?_

No, that wasn't how Optimus thought. Elita knew him well enough to know that. He was thinking of her happiness, if she had known about his…relationship… she would have been devastated. He'd wanted to break it easy to her but never had the chance.

_I could never hate Optimus anyway…_ she thought changing the direction they were heading, to the direction of Earth, and watched the stars as they passed them.

_ I will always love Optimus Prime._

**Author's end note: **There, I hope this clears up why Elita One was so out of character in "Show Me Myself" and again I apologize if you took offense to her being so, that's not what was meant to happen. I'm also considering writing another fic like this one which is Megatron's view of the situation, should I?

**Vulture Editor: **Yeah, we probably should've given y'all a better warning for the OOCness, but we didn't expect her to get too far out of character. Please review and it actually doesn't matter if you guys think Zaerith should write the Megatron story, she's gonna do it anyway… Because I'll eat her if she doesn't. Also please note that I'm writing my own story that Zaerith will post on her account for me ('cause I don't have an account and don't write enough fanfiction to bother getting one) so please look for it when it's posted. Thanks.


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